Can I get rid of my rogue boyfriend and keep his house?
I am not married, but have been with my boyfriend for 16 years. We have two children and a house bought in his name seven years ago. He is very irresponsible about his credit and his spending.
A year and a half ago he bought a food truck, but he hadn’t driven it. For the past year, he has been paying storage fees to park the trucks. About six months ago, he then decided to open a restaurant and food truck lounge. After making this decision, he quit his full-time job to pursue his dream of becoming a boss.
Shortly after signing the lease and paying over US $ 5,000 a month to buy an empty building, the city government told him it wouldn’t be able to operate the dining car at the location without adding certain functions inside the building (living room). He repairs and renovates the building which still does not have a kitchen. He has yet to get approval from the city government to start the restaurant. He couldn’t afford it due to the high rent and administration fees. I don’t think he had any success in this restaurant.
My main problem is that he didn’t try to work when the living room was closed for renovations. He sleeps all day, and when I get home he wants me to cook, clean, take care of him, and finish school.
All housing expenses including mortgages and utility bills are my responsibility which makes me more and more stressed as I am busy with work every day and trying to save time to to study.
I don’t think I want to stay in this relationship. Is there a way I can take over our family’s mortgage because it’s theirs? About a year ago when the interest rates started to go down we tried to refinance the house but its credit rating was below 500 so it didn’t work.
Looks like you have three kids: two kids and a boy. Not being in this relationship seems like a great goal.
Unless your boyfriend wants to transfer the deed to you, you don’t have easy options for keeping the house. It seems unlikely here, but if he’s okay, you need to qualify as a lender based on your credit and income.
But there is a silver lining: your name is not on the mortgage, so your credit score. If you stop paying, you won’t be affected.
You didn’t say if you had any savings. If you don’t, you may want to postpone the formal break-up and give yourself time to save the first and last month’s rent and the deposit for the new accommodation. In order to free up some money, tell your boyfriend that you are no longer paying the mortgage.
All he can do is contact the lender regarding his choice. If he had bought a food truck a year and a half ago, it would be hard to imagine the pandemic not disrupting his plans. If he has experienced financial hardship directly or indirectly as a result of COVID-19 and his mortgage is federally backed (more than half of all mortgages in the United States are), he can still apply for a pardon. .
If he has an FHA, VA, or USDA loan, the application deadline is June 30. If his mortgage is against Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac, there is no deadline for asking for tolerance. Even if his loan is not supported by the government, he can still ask the lender what his options are. But he has to solve this problem, not you.
Your situation seems stressful. To be honest: dealing with this breakup can only increase the pressure in the short term. But focus on what you want your life to be in a year or two. Once you have closed this chapter, how much do you think the stress of life will be reduced?
I know leaving this house is frustrating, especially if you’ve already paid off a lot of mortgages. But the money is gone, so don’t let it affect your future judgment. Obviously, you want to get rid of this relationship. Think about the price you paid for a fresh start.
Robin Hartill is Penny Hoarder’s Certified Financial Planner and Senior Writer. Send your tough financial questions to [email protected].